Z’Blog

2:23am Tuesday -

 Hello, EJ, it’s me Coach! Wassup dog!?

Sure I know what time it is! It’s time for you to come with me to Chico State!

Aw c’mon Eric, I can’t coach the Chiclettes without you! You’re my ticket back into coaching, dude. You’ll love Division III hoops…no rules, run n’ gun offense…

What? You say you should of gone to Illinois? I ruined your college career? I took the spotlight away from you? EJ, my man, you’re being way cruel here - it’s all the NCAA’s fault…they hate us Coharie Indians, you know.

 Lose your number? Oh don’t be that way….hello?

Hellooo….(click)

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Coach Sampson’s study, 6:23am, Wednesday -

“Hi, Mrs. Washington, it’s me - gonna be again Coach Sampson. How’s the mother of the nation’s tallest 9th grader this bright, shiny morning? Is Othelle there? I wanted to say hello….

I know what time it is, Ma’am, he hasn’t left for school has he? Middle school doesn’t start ’til 8am…

But Mrs. Washington, I’m recruiting Othelle now, to get ahead of the other schools. I figure he’ll be a high school senior about the same time the NCAA allows me back into the coaching game.

What d’ya mean, an ethical coach for your son? I just got caught…well, caught twice…well, I lied, too…but, but…

Mrs. Washington? Hellooooo….

(click)

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Coach Sampson’s study, Wednesday 11:25am -

“Hello, Athletic Director Jones, this is a really great basketball coach who shall remain anonymous calling about your basketball program at New Jersey Institute of Engineering?…

 Yes, I noticed the team went 0-29 this past year and I’d like to bring them back to greatness. It’s a specialty of mine…

What? Y’say, you’ve never been great. Your students and alum really don’t care and you only have basketball to fulfill athletic curriculum requirements? That’s PERFECT - just the right situation for me…

 Well, for starters, I can recruit real good basketball players. Guys with suspicious transcripts from roundball academies, who’ll be here for a year, tear down your graduation rate, get busted for pot, rape coeds and all the other stuff you’d expect from a quick fix program.

You only recruit really smart engineering students who are athletes second? You’re kidding….aren’t you?

Uh, the NCAA? Sure, I know those scum-sucking pigs who destroyed my life just because I broke a teensy weensy rule…again….and again.

No, this isn’t Coach Sampson…who’s he?

Hello….Director Jones…Hellooo

(click)

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Wednesday, 5:23pm, Coach Sampson’s study -

“Hello, may I speak to a Mr. Sleazy Martin, commissioner of the Northwest United Basketball League?

I am? Great! I’m just the guy to coach in your league! You want tough? You want fire? You want total disregard? That’s me!!

Play against a donkey basketball team? You betcha! A Hooters Girl point guard night? We’ll pack ‘em in Tahoma! Let a fan play in a game? Wow - that’ll thrill ‘em in Billings! That greased pig wrestling is a great idea, too. I’m all about throwing out the rules for the good of the game!

Experience? I have decades - all over the NCAA division 1 map. Rules violations, allegations, zip graduation rates - I’m the total package. Y’ever check that little mess I spawned at Indiana University? Yep…that’s me!

Y’say, your daughter went to IU business school? You went there, too? You’re a Hoosier alum?

What d’ya mean you hate me and what I did to your university?? It’s all show-biz, Mr. Sleazy…

Hello….Helloooo?

(click)

It’s been 4 days since Sampson Gate first was revealed to the IU faithful. That this man who was given another chance, the opportunity to coach on of the nation’s unarguably premiere college basketball programs  - would throw it all away with his sociopathic disgregard for NCAA rules, his probation and the pride of all Indiana University students, grads and fans. IU has always stood for fair play, honest, ethics, character and basketball played the way it should be. That Sampson would come in and violate these tenets is testimony to his stupidity and glaring lack of moral fiber.

A cheater. A liar. Called these names by none other than the NCAA.

 Yet Sampson stays irresolute, refusing to acknowledge his transgressions. Refusing to do the right thing by resigning amidst a sorrowful confession of unjust zeal and overeagerness. Too late now. Way too late. Instead backpedaling (uh, I hired him along with whole bunch of other people) AD Rick Greenspan now searches for the fastest and cheapest exit route for the now exposed charlatan of a coach he championed as the next great leader of IU basketball.

 How miserable all IU fans feel about this whole episode. We will, of course, survive and rise to greatness again. Only this time, I pray it’ll be greatness based on the foundation and legacy that made IU basketball one of the shining examples of what can be done with an honest vision for sport in college.

Sure, I’m a Colts fan so last year’s Super Bowl victory couldn’t have been better. But this year’s Super Bowl Champs - the NY Giants - come in a close second by throttling Bill Belicheat and the smug Patriots in a game everyone (except NY) believed would be an easy win for New England.

 Not so, oh pigskin experts. Instead, the Giants’ brand of smash-mouth defense kept pretty boy, bastard spawner Tom Brady on his back most of the game while Aw Shucks QB Eli Manning came of age in front of the largest TV audience to ever watch a Super Bowl.

While I couldn’t be happier for Eli and the Giants, my glee was heightened by the thought of those cocky Patriots (who had already trademarked 19-0) heading back to Beantown to the cold shoulders of their even cockier fans. Guess the ticker tape parade (planned last month) won’t be happening this year. And maybe not for many years to come as the Pats cobbled together a team of free agents, older players and miscreants intent on blasting through the NFL season to another Super Bowl victory. Many of the Pats (Seau, Harrison, Light, Brusci, etc) were playing on their last pro legs and won’t be back - or will never equal their physical prowess.

I do hope the NFL slaps the Hoodie and lots of other Holier Than Thou Patriot management and coaches with suspensions, lost draft choices and big money fines for their second round of VideoGate. Belichek’s gruff personality and smug arrogance leaves little doubt he believes he’s above the rules and better than the rest of the NFL coaches. To see him publicly scorned would be the proverbial cherry on top of the Patriots’ Loser Sundae - they served up Sunday.

 Alan Ladd in Shane. Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter, the Duke in Rio Bravo - all cowboy heros who rode off into the sunset at the end of the movie.

Bob Knight is a modern day cowboy hero. A maverick who told it like he saw it, suffered no fools, did things his way and always appeared to be a coach better suited for bygone NCAA days when players played 4 years, obeyed the coach, believed in the concept of team play and went about their business with no fanfare. Kinda like the 1976 Indiana team that went 32-0 and won the NCAA Championship. This was a team of selfless players, each one willing to step up his game wherever it was needed for the good of the team. Some may have called them robots - but to see them run the motion offense with the last player scoring an uncontested basket - it was a beautiful sight not seen much today in NCAA hoops unless you watch the smaller schools (Xavier, Butler, Gonzaga, etc) whose seniors stay to play and thus have a total team chemistry unmatched by one and done players.

I cannot say I’ll miss Bobby Knight as the game appeared to pass him by 10 years ago. His dictatorial, obey me at any cost coaching style has faded into today’s GQ dressed coaches who plead with their players rather than direct them.

I do hold him and Miles Brand responsible for acting like petulant first graders that led to Knight’s dismissal at IU. Coach should have stayed at IU until he retired, leaving behind a legacy the same as Dean Smith at UNC. Instead, Coach Knight took his act to Texas Tech - out in the middle of nowhere cowboy country - where he cobbled together winning seasons in relative obscurity.

Now the old cowboy has hung up his coaching spurs and saddled up for the next great journey, probably lots of hunting, shooting, fishing and other long ago manly pursuits. He may show up on a NCAA final show for expert commentary or be seen at a fund-raising golf outing. Maybe he’ll hang out with Parcells in Miami as an unpaid adviser. I don’t see him over the shoulder of son, Pat - whose trial by fire comes now in the last 10 games of the season.

Nope, I’m thinking the last of the cowboy coaches will just….fade away, a speck on the horizon painted golden by the sunset. Thanks for the ride, Coach Knight. I only hoped it would have ended in Bloomington, Indiana.